Mike’s Secret

It was Sunday, her do nothing day, Riley thought with a great deal of pleasure.  Oh, there were things she could be doing, like vacuuming and the dreaded dusting, not to mention a load of clothes.  Sometimes she considered hiring a maid, but her townhouse with only her in it, how dirty could it get?  Well, she didn’t want to examine that issue too closely.

Saturdays kept her busy with errands she couldn’t get done during the week, like grocery shopping.  She made good use of the deli and prepared foods, something quick, so that when she came home from work, she didn’t have to worry about what to eat before she collapsed in front of the television.  Sundays she just lolled around.  That’s why she was quite annoyed when her phone rang at 8:30 that morning.  If it was Eden or her mother, she’d—

But it was Mike.  Had something happened?  “Hello,” she answered a bit anxiously.

“Is it too early to call?” he asked.

“Of course.”  What a stupid question.  It’s Sunday, after all.  “Is anything wrong?”  Why else would he be calling.

“I just—I thought maybe I could take you out for brunch and we could—you know—talk?”

“Oh, my god, Mike.”  Honestly.  For this he disturbed her peace?

“You’re busy.  You’re with someone.”

She laughed.  “I’m barely awake.”

“I’m—down here in my car.”

“What!  Why?  Mike.”  Sighing, she gave this some very rapid thought.  “Okay, I’ll let you in, but stay downstairs while I get ready.”

“I can wait in the car.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”  Riley put on a sweatshirt and pajama bottoms and went barefoot down the stairs.  She saw Mike’s shadow looming at the door.  Unbolting and unlocking the door, she let him in and pointed toward the living room.  There went her Sunday.

Now she’d have to shower and put on makeup and, oh, her hair needed shampooing, but she usually did that Monday morning. On that point she refused to make an exception.

Because of always having to get ready for work, she was downstairs in half an hour.  Mike stood when she entered the living room.  “Ready?” he asked.  She just rolled her eyes.  Then he drove her to a Mexican restaurant.

“Really?” she wondered.

“They have a great breakfast.  Honestly.”

Still in a Sunday fog, Riley just shook her head.  When they walked into the restaurant, she couldn’t believe how busy it was, but they got a booth at least.  And were actually served chips and salsa, something she usually loved gorging on, but—  she didn’t even usually eat breakfast. What was she doing here!

Mike ordered an omelet and she ordered a skillet; then she looked him in the eye and waited.  “You’re probably surprised by all this,” he acknowledged.

“Yes.”

“I—“  He looked around as if someone in the room could help him.  “You know Mary.”

“Obviously I know Mary.  She introduced us.  We work together.  Sometimes.”

“She’s my sister.”

“Yes, I know, Mike.  Married with two lovely children.”

“I’m not her brother.  I’m not related to anyone in my family at all.  Well, sort of related.”  He paused, waiting for Riley’s reaction.

Riley sat there, not knowing how she was supposed to react.  She was curious, but—  Wasn’t she trying to disentangle her life from Mike’s?  So did she really want to be privy to his secrets?  On the other hand, who didn’t like a secret?  “You’ll explain?” she wondered.

“Yes. I want to because—  I want you to understand something important about me.  Maybe you’ll—  I don’t know, Riley.”  He was doubtful before he became determined.  “But now we’re here and I told myself—and my therapist— I was going to do this.  So, here goes.  This is very jumbled, so if you can just bear with me.  My real mother, my birth mother—she’s Irish.  She came over here as a teenager, already pregnant.  Her mother is my mother’s second cousin.  I don’t really know the how or wherefore of this arrangement because I’ve never been told the whole story.  By anyone.  And believe me, I’ve tried.  All I know for sure is that my let’s-call-her-my-Pittsburgh-mother, who’s not a slender woman—not fat, but she pushed out all those babies, went to the hospital one day about ten months after Sean was born and brought me home, as his Irish twin.”

Riley shook her head, so Mike tried to explain.  “Irish twins.  So close in age they could have been twins.  Born in the same year.  My mother was still nursing Sean, so she nursed me along with him.  And my birth mother flew back to Ireland from her ‘vacation’ in the States.”

Riley couldn’t believe it.  “Your siblings—“

“The way I hear it, Mom just told them she was going to the hospital to pick up a baby.  Something they were used to.  And there I was.”

Riley shook her head.  “No.”

“Yes.  I never knew until I was eighteen.  I wanted to contact my birth mother, but she wasn’t interested.  My real father was a married man.  My birth mother was a friend of his daughter’s.  I mean, I knew I was different from the rest of the Aherns, but—“

This was too much of a load for a Sunday brunch.  Still—  “But indeed,” Riley concurred.  “Mary never said anything about this.  She did say you had different interests than the other boys in the family, but that was about it.”

“Mary never knew.  No one knew.  No one still knows.  Except my mother and father.  I don’t think my father gave a damn really one way or the other if word got out, but my mother said something about it ruining the family unit if the circumstances of my birth were revealed to the rest of my siblings.  Family unit.”  He shrugged.  “Whatever that’s supposed to mean.  Anyway, after I found out, I just sort of stopped wanting to be part of a family I didn’t really belong to.  I wish—Ma had never told me.  Because what was the point?  I could have happily gone on being the odd one out.  Teased, but still one of them.  But now I’m not.  And knowing has sort of wrecked my life.  Because—who am I?  My mother warned me to not even try to contact my birth mother as she was now a married woman with three children of her own, didn’t want to be reminded of my birth.  According to my mother’s cousin.”

“Not even to know—anything about you?” Riley wondered.  “I would want to know.  At least how my child turned out.  If something like that happened to me. Which it hasn’t,” she added quickly.

Mike shrugged.  “It’s like I was aborted after the fact.”

The food arrived and they dug in, but slowly.  “So Mary doesn’t know?”  Riley was very puzzled by this.

“None of my brothers and sisters knows.  So, please don’t mention this to Mary.”

“Of course, not, Mike.  I would never.  I don’t even understand why you’re telling me.  Especially in a Mexican restaurant.  On a Sunday morning.”

He smiled.  “I think because I want you to understand.  In a way it’s made me feel—apart from others.  I mean, on the surface I have to be hail fellow well met.  But then I have this secret that hangs over me.  I no longer belong.  Anywhere.  And I don’t know how to digest it.”

“Mixed metaphors,” she said automatically.  “Boy.  And I was just worried about my mother and Eden’s wedding.”

“Eden? Your sister?  She’s getting married?”

So they dropped Mike’s problem and talked about hers. Or rather Eden’s.

Lingering over coffee, Riley brought the conversation back to the subject at hand.  “You know, Mike, I think in a way it was cruel of your mother to tell you.”

Mike was looking down in his mug while he asked, “Why do you say that?”

“Well, there was nothing you could do about the information she imparted.  You were eighteen.  Going away to college.”

“For which I got a scholarship,” he pointed out.

“First time away from home.  Saddled with this bombshell and being told don’t bother looking into the facts of your birth because no one’s interested but you.  So why bring it up at all?  It’s like your mother was saying, I’ve fulfilled my commitment; you’re on your own from now on.”

Mike looked up.  “Damn it, Riley, that was exactly my thinking.  My therapist doesn’t think that was the meaning at all.”

“Well, she/he’s is possibly quite wrong.  Unless your mother is a very stupid woman and thought she was doing you a favor by telling you.”

“A she, by the way.  My therapist.”

Riley added, “Did your mother cap all this by saying something like, from the moment I brought you home you were always one of us.  But I thought you should know.”

Mike shook his head.  “Nope.  No coda.”

“That is harsh.  Maybe she meant to say it though.”

“And if she had meant to say it, would’t she have?  That’s the issue I’ve been dealing with.  Like, what’s real?  Is everyone capable of a lifetime of deception?  What are people really feeling when they deal with me?  Will they make some sudden announcement—“

“Like I made,” Riley realized.  “But I wasn’t rejecting you, Mike.  I was the one afraid of getting hurt down that road we were traveling so lustily.  You have to see things from my perspective.  I’m in my thirties.  I want more from life than a job.  I want someone who loves me, whom I can love.  I want children—at some point.  Also my career.  I want the whole package.  But now I can see where you’re coming from, and why I felt that distance you put between us.  I’m very glad you told me all this.”

“I wanted you to understand why—“  He chuckled.  “Why I’m afraid, I guess.”

“You don’t need to be afraid of me, Mike.  We Franklins are very loyal people.  Despite my dad divorcing, oh, and my brother also.”  She laughed.  “Look, I don’t know where we’re going if anywhere. Or if you’ll ever want to see me again.”

“Why would I be telling you all this if I didn’t want to see you again?” he protested.

“Let’s put that aside for the moment.  I do feel you’re making a mistake as far as your family goes.  Mary’s told me that you really don’t come to that many family events.  This is a mistake.  I don’t know about your mother and father.  But you have brothers and sisters with whom you’ve grown up.  You’re an uncle.  You’re a part of all of them as they’re a part of you.  If they knew what you told me, I bet they’d rush to your side, maybe joke a bit about you being the odd duckling.  But they’d be solidly behind you.  Because you’re a great guy, Mike.  They know it.  I know it.”

“So you think the next holiday I should show up and—“

“Yes. You’re damn right I do.  Your mother didn’t make you swear a vow of silence on the issues, did she?”

“Not exactly.”

“Then throw it out there, and I bet you anything you’ll find your family rallying to your side.”

He considered this.  “Would you come with me when I do it?”

“Oh, wow.  Yikes.”

“You could tell me how everyone is taking it because I’ll be too wrapped up in the trauma.”

“Don’t I have enough trauma with my mother and Eden.”

He nodded.  “Sorry I asked.”

“Nope.  I will stand by you in this, Mike, and not only because you’re a good guy, but also if you’re traumatized by the telling, someone will have to drive you back to that awful duplex you live in.  In the meantime—“

“In the meantime, can we see where this is going?” he asked hopefully.

“Let’s box up the food and we can discuss it later.  Oh, you finished.  That’s something about men.  They always finish first.”  She smirked.