My Life as a Bore Continues: My Schedule

As noted in my recent epistle on flowers, I’ve been told I’m a rather boring person.  So I shall continue in that mode and lay out before you my usual schedule for the day.

I wake up around five in the morning, pull on a shirt, no panties as I keep figuring the shirt is long enough, and slip on my Apple Watch.  Then I go downstairs and open the windows to get in the cool air.  (Note bene:  I’m writing this at the height of summer.) By the time I get back upstairs, I can be assured that I have one stand on my Apple Watch.  This is important because I like to get the stands done by five in the afternoon so I don’t have to worry about them anymore.  I mean who wants to tramp around the house at 8 pm, when you can be sitting on a recliner with the drink of your choice.

I take my shirt off and slip back into bed and hope that I can fall back to sleep.  Sometimes this is a vain hope, and how annoying I find it to be awake that early.  However that’s a good time to continue my long-standing day dream, where I replay the parts I like best.

If I’m awake at six, I’ll find some way to get another stand in.

At seven it’s time to check my texts and emails.  Usually, it’s my daughter and sister texting me their Wordle scores.  For me, work before play, so I troll through the daily news on several sites.  I no longer wonder what’s happening to this world of ours because nothing surprises me anymore.

After I find out, as expected, that the world is going to hell, I play games.  First Wordle, then Connections, and, if I feel like it, a few rounds of canasta.

Time to get up and face the day.  In other words take my pills.

Then it’s downstairs to the computer, where I have four more news sites I check before I play Jelly Juice and Simple Simon, followed by Canfield, flip three.

Oh, I get a stand in there when needed.

Then it’s down to work, if I can’t find any other distraction, like going to the grocery store or meeting friends for watercolor or canasta.  Right now I’m writing porn and finding it quite stimulating.  Probably I’m not perverted enough for today’s tastes, but I’m trying.

By the time 11:30 rolls around I’m thinking about lunch.  That means I have to remove a roll from the freezer compartment because I’m definitely a sandwich person for lunch.

Exercise?  Yes.  Somewhere in the morning I fit in enough to satisfy my watch.  I used to walk every day for about 25 minutes, but lately I’ve decided not to walk if it’s too hot or too cold.  So what do I do for exercise?  I empty the dishwasher.  I fold the clothes.  I take an indoor walk.  For some reason lately I haven’t made my monthly challenge. My fault?  Or should the challenges be easier?  Or should I just get a Timex and leave the Apple Watch in its box?

Lunch.  My favorite sandwich is tomato, bacon and onion, seasoned with chipotle mayo by Sir Kensington.  I need spice in my life.  Somehow writing porn isn’t enough.  And I can’t stand bland food.

My sandwiches, no matter what I make, have a habit of falling apart when I’m not even halfway through.  I used to use napkins but now, thanks to seeing one of my sons do it, I use paper towels.

While I eat, I read on my iPad.  Using Libby I can get magazines from all over.  I stick with three subjects, history, news, celebrity.  I love reading “Hello” magazine because no matter how awful the person is, they never have a bad word to say about anyone.  Also, the first section of the magazine, usually about ten pages, is devoted to some mega millionaire’s house.  The poses those women take with their furnishings make my day.

After lunch it’s time for a few hands of Canfield so that I can digest and quiet my mind before I head up to bed for the very important nap time.

Ever since I could, and that means from college to beyond—with breaks for my working girl moments—I’ve taken a nap.  I think napping is essential for one’s being.  It clears the mind of all the garbage that happens in during the morning hours.  I honestly don’t think I could survive without my nap.  I refuse to make appointments in the afternoon, even for doctors.  I’ll wait another couple of months if I have to for a morning appointment.

Before sleeping I’ll read for at least half an hour.  Sad to say, it’s usually on my iPad because I’ve found it much more convenient to get books from Libby than going to the library.  Every time I do go to the library I bring home books that look interesting only to discover they’re not.  Then I’m faced with the chore of bringing them back to the library.  Fortunately, the library no longer has late fees.

Upon waking, I think, good god that was a short nap.  So sometimes I drift into dreamland again.  I have to admit I love my day dreams.  But sometimes I get up and start working again.  And sometimes I work not because I have anything to say but out of guilt.

Five o’clock.  Time for CNN with Wolf Blitzer.  I’ve followed Wolf ever since he worked for the Jerusalem Post.  Who knew he was from Buffalo?  Because I don’t like commercials I’m constantly flipping channels.  I’ll watch BBC news just to get annoyed.  They definitely do not like Jews.

Six o’clock rolls around and I have to be ready.  My husband will FaceTime any minute.  My husband of fifty-eight years is now in assisted living, being assisted by two caregivers.  Eleven years ago he played Humpty Dumpty and broke his head.  I will never forgive the doctor at the rehabilitation center who told me on day one that my husband would never recover.

Each day my husband becomes less concerned with the world around him and focuses only on himself.  (May I say that he was a great self-focuser before this, but at least he was aware of what was going on in so many fields.) So I listen while he tells me everything about his day.  I watch as he struggles to remember what he had for lunch.  I remind him about activities he usually goes to.  And I ask him if he’s taken his nap because he usually functions better when he gets some sleep during the day.

I’m used to him now never really connecting to my life.  I could be going through some crisis, medical or house-related, and it means nothing to him.  Every Tuesday I go play card games with him and on Saturday my daughter and I spend the morning with him playing games.  It’s sometimes very frustrating. I always tell him to remember to bring his brain with him when he joins us, but sometimes that brain is missing.

After speaking with my husband I stay at the computer and read the New York Times.  I used to get the paper delivered but now it’s only digital. They lie when they say it’s the same.  You don’t get half the stuff you get in the paper version, but at least I don’t have to worry about vacations and snow burying the newspaper.

At 7:30 my television viewing begins.  Along with dinner.  I never know what to have in the evening.  If I plan to have a nightly bourbon, I need to have something that goes with bourbon.  But if no bourbon I’ll have something like guacamole and pretzels.  My eating habits are pretty damn bad.

By ten I’m ready to go upstairs, where I’ll read for at least an hour before I decide, as the iPad slips from my hands, that I should probably go to sleep.  And then I do.