The Wedding Planner

Bernice Franklin was in a flurry of excitement.  Finally!  One of her ungrateful brats had come through and left everything in her capable hands.  She got to plan Riley’s wedding!

The budget wasn’t quite what she expected from two working people, but she’d deal with it.  Riley gave her some bullshit about losing a deposit on a previous site in Pittsburgh, but Bernice was sure her daughter had some money stashed away somewhere.  But Riley warned her, if she wasn’t going to stick to the budget, Riley would just have to run off and pull an Eden. These kids really knew how to stick a knife in.

Oh, the plans Bernice had!  She had been to an retirement party at the Mayapple Estate, the pond, the fountain, the manicured garden—perfection.  Once Riley had set the date and the Mayapple was available—and once the deposit was down—Bernice dragged Thad along for the very important tasting menu.  Riley stipulated anything but chicken.  How right she was.  Chicken always came out dry, unless it was Costco’s broasted.

Together, she and Thad decided on salmon with risotto and green beans for the main course; for starters a simple garden salad, no fruit, no nuts.  The light house dressing was perfect.  Besides, people never really appreciated the salad, so why throw money at it.  They were usually busy wondering why they were sitting at a table way to the side with people they didn’t know, or worse, didn’t like.  Dessert would be the wedding cake, of course.  For the vegetarians, should there be any, the event planner suggested the same risotto mixed with eggplant and spinach.  Sounded a bit too mushy; but then Bernice wasn’t a vegetarian, so not her problem.

The worst part of any wedding was the time between the ceremony and the dinner, when the photographer would be busy taking photos, but the rest of the guests would be milling, talking to the same people over and over again. There would have to be an open bar for that and plates of hors d'oeuvres passed around.  But once seated only wine would be served.

She put all this to Riley and her daughter came back with an objection from the spouse-to-be that most of his relatives drank beer.  With salmon?

His relatives.  What to do about his relatives?  The guest limit was one hundred with seventy coming from his side.  Riley kept saying not to worry as most wouldn’t come because of the distance and the lack of child care.  But what if they did?  After all, it was only at the most a seven-hour drive.

Riley’s invitations would be sent to family and work colleagues.  Bernice wondered if Mike’s list couldn’t be pared down.  She had her own friends to invite.  After all, how could Bernice spend all her time talking about her daughter’s wedding and then invite no one?  Besides, when she thought of all the weddings and showers she had been to, she felt her friends owed her in the gift department.  Which reminded her.  Riley needed to get cracking on her registry.  Sometimes these kids had no idea what a wedding was really about.  It was the only time you could really score big in the gift department.

And whether the Pittsburgh contingent came or not, Bernice still had to arrange blocks of hotel rooms for them.  So much to do!  She had never been happier.

Of course there were disagreements.  Bernice suggested Thad walk Riley down the aisle, since Jerry was obviously—dead.  “I don’t even know the guy,” Riley protested.  “He will not be walking me down the aisle.”  Even Thad thought it was a ridiculous idea.  “I plan on sitting in a pew and enjoying the spectacle.”

“There are no pews at the Mayapple Estate,” Bernice snapped.  “There’ll be lovely, padded folding chairs.”

“My ass.”

Bernice didn’t exactly know how to take that response, so she let it go while she considered who would walk Riley down the aisle.  Such an important moment.  She guessed it would have to be Frank.  But then that would leave Lily stranded. Unless Lily became a bridesmaid.  Hmm

But Riley objected to that also.  “Lily is a child.  She was Eden’s high school friend.  I shall have one attendant, a matron of honor, and that’ll be Eden.”

“But I’m not speaking to Eden,” Bernice protested.

“Mother—grow up!”

These kids.  What did they know of life?  And the delicate balance of invitations to a wedding.  Bernice supposed, if Eden was to be matron of honor, then her husband Steve would be a guest at the wedding also.  But what about Steve’s parents?  True, Bernice had never met them, but there was that rather fraught communication with Steve’s mother when they were delicately negotiating about the wedding that never happened.  No, she thought maybe not Steve’s parents.  But then there was Lily.  Obviously, as Frank’s plus one, she would be invited.  Would her parents expect an invitation also?  With Will Stanton in an ankle bracelet that might be set off during the ceremony as he was so far from home base?

No.  The Stantons were obviously out.  Although at one point Bernice and Elinor had run in the same circles, that seemed ages ago now.  In fact, if she remembered correctly, as soon as Jerry had dumped then divorced her, Bernice stopped receiving invitations from so many people and the Stantons were one of those. After all, Jerry was a doctor and she was a drab of a housewife. Oh, how they all took to the deluxe Miss Fairfax blond hair and boobs riding high.  Whatever happened to that bitch, Bernice sometimes wondered.  First, she was selling real estate in Scarsdale and then she simply disappeared.  Probably has some other dumb Y-chromosome on her arm now.  Wherever she was, Bernice wished Heidi only the worst.

The printers.  Bernice had to get on to the printers and send a proof of the invitation to Riley.  She wished she could leave out Mr. Deceased, but Jerry had been Riley’s father.  She supposed it was only proper to include his name on the invitation, along with Mike’s parents.

They were coming next weekend, Riley and Mike.  Bernice had to admit to being a bit nervous.  Things hadn’t gone well when she met Steve, Eden’s husband.  But wasn’t that Eden’s fault for being so obstinate and not letting Bernice take over the planning of the wedding?

She would make a point of being nicer to Mike because she wanted a relationship with one of her daughters.  She didn’t know if she would ever speak to Eden again.  But then Eden had a new family now.  Didn’t she.