The Visit (Eden’s Dread)

Eden was puzzling over what strategy to use with her new husband.  How was she to get her own way with a perfectly appropriate request?  Steve was home from that short trip to Ontario, and this was the weekend they would drive up to Pennsylvania to see Steve’s parents—and the rest of his family.

Steve was under the impression that it would be jolly fun to stay in the same house as his parents, his brothers, their wives and assorted nieces and nephews.  Had there been a private wing in the house, perhaps.  But as it was, it was a four-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bath house.  She sure as hell had no intention of traipsing around, sharing bathroom facilities, encountering who knew whom in the middle of the night or even the day.  She had looked up hotels, motels, whatever; and there was a lovely country inn very near his parents where they could have private ensuite accommodations.  And, damn it, that’s where she was staying.  Reservations already made, she would take her own car up if necessary.

“I’m cancelling those reservations,” Steve threatened.

Eyes narrowing, Eden said in an almost hiss, “Don’t you dare.”

“My parents will be insulted.”

“There’s nothing to stop you from staying in your bedroom.  Alone.  I am not staying there overnight under any conditions.  Besides, wouldn’t your mother appreciate having your room for the grandchildren?”

“My mom will be particularly insulted,” Steve returned to his theme.

“All of a sudden, your mom has you terrified?  Your mom doesn’t like me.”

“And your mother?” Steve snapped back.

“Okay, she doesn’t like me either.  But my mom has nothing against you, Steve.  Yet.  Especially after you complimented her on the mac and cheese.  Look, I don’t want to argue with you about your parents.  In fact, I like your father.  He seems a very nice, if put-upon, man.  But your mother with her little digs, no.  I have more respect for myself than to endure that 24/7.  Ergo, my dear husband, I have made us a reservation at a very lovely inn.  We have the Watermill Suite.  Shall I show you photos?”

“I know the place, Eden.  My brother had his rehearsal dinner there.  Besides, we weren’t even going to stay in my bedroom because Yael needs it for her kids.  We’d be staying on the porch, totally private, with a sofa bed.”

Dumbfounded, Eden just stared at her husband—before saying, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.  Last time I saw that sofa bed, a dog was sleeping on it.”

“Muffy.  He’s not a dog.  He’s a member of the family.”

“Obviously, a more important member than I am.  Or you!”  She threw up her hands.  “Okay, you do you.  You sleep with Muffy.  I’ll sleep at the inn.  Or, better yet, I won’t go at all.”

“Damn it, Eden!”

Her eyes widened.  “Is this what our marriage has devolved into, after two months?  You swearing at me?  I could cry, Steve, but I’ll save that for something more serious.”  She turned away and walked into her bedroom, shut the door and locked it.  Families.  Wouldn’t the world be better without them?

An hour later and Eden was listening carefully to see if Steve would leave, so that she could sneak something from the kitchen, bring it to her room and watch television.  She was not backing down on this. There had to be lines in a marriage that couldn’t be crossed.  Consideration when dealing with the enemy was one of them.

When she thought about it, how many weekends since their wedding had they actually spent together as a couple? He was always going hither and yon, while she was left on her own.  Not that she didn’t know how to fill the time.  But a weekend when they were together, shouldn’t they be together?  Facing the world—and his parents—as a unit?  Steve knew what his mother was like.  Why wasn’t he trying to understand things from her perspective?  The weekend was going to be hard enough as it was, being parachuted into the Applebaum family en masse.  Let’s have some consideration for poor Eden, she thought.

There was scratching on her bedroom door.  Mice?  “Eden?” Steve called softly.

“Not here,” she responded.

“I called my mother and told her we’d be staying at the inn.”

Smiling broadly, Eden wondered, “And what did she say?”

“She was insulted.”

Pulling her knees to her chest, Eden laughed heartily.  “Why?  Had she not treated Muffy for fleas lately in honor of our arrival?”

“Come on, Eden.  She’s not that bad.  Honestly.  She’ll have to be warm and loving because the grandkids will be there.  You know how kids pick up on things.”

“Like I’ll be the odd man out?”

“First of all, you’re not a man.  Second, you have a knight in shining armor to defend you.”

“Oh?  Someone I don’t know is coming?”

Steve sighed deeply which she could even hear through the door.  “I’m getting hungry.  Aren’t you?  We can go out and get dinner?”

“I want to order in.”

“Another alternative.  Then we can snuggle together and watch television.”

“Only if you let me pick the program.”

“Eden, don’t you always pick the program?”

“All you want to watch is ‘Nova.’”

“Or ‘Ancient Mysteries.’  You like that show, don’t you?”

“No.  I’ve been faking it.”

“I hope that’s the only thing you’ve been faking,” Steve said plaintively.

She smirked, then got off the bed and opened the door.  Taking him by the shirt collar, she dragged him forward toward the bed.  “You be the judge,” she told him, a happy camper once more.