Reflections on the poem Spectacular Titacular

I don’t understand why, at every awards show, some women try to appear as nude as possible—without being arrested for gross indecency.  Has modesty gone out of fashion?  With the demise of the most popular girlie magazines is this the only way to get noticed?

What’s wrong with a little bit of modesty, showing a lot of class instead of a lot of ass? Honestly, you’re beautiful women. You don’t need to be vulgar to get noticed.

Speaking of vulgarity, while I’m at it, what’s with the hip thrusts, the grinds, the twerking?  Can we not save that for the bedroom or up against a wall, or even the kitchen table, if that’s your preference?  I really don’t need to see your behind in action.

And, while we’re at it, good god, men, why are you grabbing your crotch?  Are you afraid your penis has gone missing in the few minutes you’ve been on stage?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to grab your penis when you pee, instead of spraying your essence all over the bathroom floor?

Okay, I’m done for the nonce.